Thursday, 10 April 2014

Acorn Antiques from The Blackmore Players

The following is lifted from their website.

Acorn Antiques
Acorn Antiques is a small antiques business run by sisters Miss Babs and Miss Berta in the fictional town of Manchesterford. They are “helped” by Mrs Overall, their friend Mr Clifford and two new and rather “dense” trainees, Hugh and Mimi. Miss Berta was once the fiancé of Mr Clifford but he suffered a bang on the head and has lost his memory. Despite this, Miss Berta still loves him and longs to be his wife.

Sales in the antiques business are not good and one day disaster strikes as the landlord has sold their shop and all the other shops along the street to a property developer and the traditional businesses are being replaced with “faceless chains”. All the shopkeepers are initially horrified but whilst the sisters vow that they will not close the antiques shop, the other shopkeepers gradually convert to various modern franchise operations such as the Hong Kong thong, Botox booth and Grubby Garter pole dancing.

Desperate for additional funds for Acorn Antiques, with the aid of a truth drug the sisters persuade Mrs Overall, their shop worker, to divulge the information she has about their late father’s will. They learn that they have a third sister and to access their father’s money, three conditions must be met. First all three sisters must first go to the bank together. Next one of the sisters has to marry with their mother’s consent. The third condition remains a secret but seems to involve a TV quiz show. The first two of these requirements cannot be met as there are only two sisters and they don’t know who their mother is!

Miss Bonnie then arrives at the shop, inspecting its potential as a coffee outlet on behalf of her current employer – the Guilty Bean. Her offer is rejected by Miss Babs, Miss Berta and Clifford but Mrs Overall recognises her as the third sister. Miss Bonnie agrees to give notice to the Guilty Bean and joins the family business.

Now the three sisters are together, they visit the bank, returning with a small amount of cash and a cheque for £50,000 which can only be cashed once one of the three daughters is married – with their mother’s blessing. So their money problems are not over yet.

Tony, a loan shark, has visited Acorn Antiques in search of an ornament for his office. Miss Babs is immediately attracted to him but, despite her enticement through her song, “Have you met Miss Babs” he remains cold and uninterested.

Miss Bonnie gives Mrs Overall a further dose of the truth drug and she reveals that she is mother to the three sisters but one of them still has to be married before they can access the rest of their father’s money.

Miss Bonnie (who wants money to open her own coffee shop), tells Miss Babs that she will be more attractive to Tony if she agrees to take on a loan. So when Tony arrives with his three-girl backing group, Miss Babs happily (and unwisely) signs a loan agreement for £50,000.

With the cash from the loan and against Miss Babs’ wishes, Acorn Antiques is transformed into a modern coffee shop, run by Miss Bonnie who has fired Mrs Overall, considering that she doesn’t fit in with the new style business. However the customers are unhappy that Mrs Overall has gone and Miss Bonnie is persuaded to go and search for her.

Fortunately Mrs Overall is found and returns to the shop in triumph. Clifford is hit on the head and regains his memory – and his love for Miss Berta - so they rush off to be married, with Mrs O’s blessing.

Tony arrives to collect immediate and full repayment of the loan – in cash. The cheque has not yet been cashed but, with the help of Hugh and Mimi (TV quiz show enthusiasts), the third condition of the will is satisfied, the shop safe is opened, cash floods out, Tony is transformed with one of Mrs Overall’s macaroons and now falls for Miss Babs – and everyone lives happily!

Production Date Start Time Ticket Price
Thursday 8th May 2014 20:00 £5.00
Friday 9th May 2014 20:00 £10.00
Saturday 10th May 2014 20:00 £10.00
Matinee
Saturday 10th May 2014 14:30 £7.00

Tickets are sometimes available on the door, and they will always try and accomodate anyone who has made the effort to come along!

Please note that for tickets bought on the door they can only accept cash or cheque payments.

All productions take place in Blackmore Village Hall.
Tickets are available by ringing 01277 200305. The postcode of the Village Hall is CM4 0QR.


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